Staying Positive: Emotional Wellbeing

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James Forson

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We have been discussing our mental wellbeing throughout this series of articles and indicated that emotional wellbeing is one of the cornerstones of mental wellbeing. To refresh your memory – emotional wellbeing refers to our ability to produce positive emotions, moods, thoughts, and feelings. It also refers to our ability to confront stressful situations and how resilient we are under pressure.

In this article, we will be spending time acknowledging the process of producing positivity – producing positive emotions, moods, thoughts and feelings. A core idea for this is staying positive and releasing positive energy. To do this, we need to think about the difference between emotions, moods, thoughts and feelings. 

But, is this not just wishful thinking? Focus on the positive and the positive will come to you? The real obstacle here is our brains – it is hard-wired to look for and focus on threats. It’s a primal survival mechanism where our cave-moms and dads had much harsher environments to live in than we do. In today’s life, these threats breed negativity and pessimism – and move our minds to perceive the ‘likelihood’ that things are going to go poorly. 

When the threat is real – lurking in the bushes next to you ready to pounce and eat you – they serve a purpose. When the threat is imagined or perceived, and you spend two months worrying about whether a project you are working on is going to flop, they have no purpose. 

Maintaining positivity asks focus and attention and an intentional effort. The effort you put into staying positive is not just good for your health, it is connected to higher levels of performance and productivity.

Sounds worth trying but before we do that, let us have a look at our thoughts and emotions.

Thoughts and emotions

Thoughts reflect how you think – your mental cognitions (ideas, opinions and beliefs). This means that your thoughts include the perspectives you bring to a situation. 

Emotions are the flow and experience of feelings – like joy, fear and anger. It can be triggered by something externally (like watching a movie) or internally (like a happy memory).

Emotions are universal (if I ask you to explain joy to me, we might come up with almost the same description) BUT, every person experiences them differently. However, emotions connect us with others and help us build strong social bonds. 

Thoughts can trigger emotions. We have the power therefore to predict or ‘sidestep’ an unwanted emotion (like sadness) by keeping our thoughts focussed on the opposite triggers. Research has indicated that we can change our thoughts and emotions by (1) altering an external situation; (2) shifting our attention; and (3) re-appraising a situation. 

This, therefore, indicates that, if we are aware of our thoughts and the emotions they trigger, we can choose to change them. But how? 

Separate fact from fiction (Shift your attention)

Step one – what is a real threat and what is my imagination making a situation a threat. The more you focus on the imaginary threat the more power you give it. Separate the real from the unreal. But how?

When you are confronted with a negative thought or situation: stop, write down the negative thought. Evaluate the statement you wrote down and analyse whether it is fact or fiction. This will slow down the momentum of the negative thought and help you think rationally and clarify the authenticity of the thought. For example – I will never find a solution. Really? NEVER? Maybe you haven’t been asking the right people for help or, maybe you should rephrase the question. 

Be on the lookout for words like never, always, worst, they are the brain’s primal threat detectors. Analyse the cycle of negativity and practice ways to move forward. Even if it’s a small step now, in a few months, after practice, it will be a giant leap forward. Just keep moving forward…

Identify the positive (Re-appraise the situation)

Once you have convinced your brain that the situation is not threatening but needs an alternative focus, you need to train your brain to focus on the positive. This rewiring will become natural after a few practice sessions. This is easy to do when things are going well and your mood is high. It is less easy when you are confronted with constant negativity. 

In these moments, think about your day and think about ONE positive thing that happened. This takes some training because on some days the only positive thing is the fact that you made it to work on time! That, however, is something. Shift your focus to that. For example: ‘I am responsible – I can get up early enough and show up for work on time.’ That is not such a bad thing, being responsible. It also shows dedication and willingness to work hard. Not too bad for someone who, a few minutes ago, thought that “EVERYTHING in my life is a mess!”

By focusing on the positive, you stripped the power from the negative thoughts and separated fact from fiction (Not EVERYTHING is a mess, you made it to work on time – that’s something). You are now starting to train your brain to replace the negative with the positive. Do this over and over again and your brain will crush negativity with ease. 

Be grateful (Altering the external situation)

Taking the time to think about what you should be grateful for reduces stress by 23%! Creating an attitude of gratitude requires that you focus on the positive. This ‘list’ could be something you use to shift those negative thoughts to positive ones. Do it daily – today I am grateful for…

Thinking positively, training your mind to identify negative thoughts and what triggers negativity is possible – it just takes self-awareness and willpower. You can do this.