1. Personal competencies

Personal competencies refer to the competencies that determine how we manage ourselves.

1.1 Self-awareness

This entails knowing your internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.

Emotional awareness enables us to recognise our emotions and their effects on those around us
Accurate self-assessment means knowing your strengths and limits
Self-confidence is evidenced by certainty about your self-worth and capabilities
Self-regulation requires managing your internal states, impulses, and resources
Self-control is the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses
Trustworthiness means that we maintain standards of honesty and integrity
Conscientiousness means taking responsibility and being accountable for personal performance
Adaptability means that we are flexible in handling change
Innovation is the ability to be comfortable with openness to novel ideas, approaches, and new information

(Cherniss and Goleman, 2001)

1.2 Self-expectations and motivation

These are the emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate the reaching of goals.

Achievement drive is the striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence we impose on ourselves
Commitment deals with aligning with the goals of the group or organisation
Initiative is expressed in readiness to act on opportunities without having to be told
Optimism is the dogged persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks

(Cherniss and Goleman, 2001)

2 Social competencies

Apart from personal competencies, social competencies play a significant role in emotional intelligence. Here are some of the dimensions:

2.1 Active listening

Active listening involves becoming part of communicative correspondence to respectfully transfer information. It is neither a fight nor a “yes ma’am/sir” process. When any barrier occurs, it is the responsibility of the leader to resolve it. Resolution happens when one feels as though one’s opinion is validated and understood. Active listening allows this to happen. Active listening requires self-control.

People high in EQ understand what is involved in listening and develop the necessary techniques to be silent and allow the other person to speak. You must ignore your own needs and concentrate attention on the person speaking. Hearing becomes listening only when you pay attention to what is being said and follow it very closely.

You could demonstrate that you are listening by:

Your body language (keeping your body open and leaning toward the speaker);
Echoing words;
Making eye contact; and
Nodding your head.

You listen to:

Show your support and help the other person(s) to relax;
Show that you are accepting of and open to them;
Enable everyone to speak and be heard;
Be able to ask questions to clarify;
Check assumptions;
Clear up misperceptions;
Restate or paraphrase;
Find the key points or issues;
Provide the silence necessary to encourage speech; and
Know when to bring the speech to closure and when to test for agreements.

You need to show that you are listening carefully. This is called “attending”. Attending skills build rapport and help people feel at ease. You can attend by:

Listening without interrupting;
Paying attention;
Using supportive body language; and
Paraphrasing facts and feelings.

You also need to practise reacting and responding in positive ways. Using good responding skills helps people to understand the things that you care about and will help you to collect information about the situation.

Remember:

Ask clarifying questions;
Ask probing questions;
Restate what the other person is saying by catching the essence, but trying to take out the volatile phrases or language (this is called “laundering” language and can reduce friction);
Summarise facts and feelings;
Reframe issues, focusing on the interests, not positions:
Try to always use “I” language instead of “you”; i.e.:

o Not: “You are…”

o Instead, say: “I feel…“

Try to communicate directly with the other person; and
Be forward-thinking; try to focus on the future.

When you pay attention and listen without interruption, this allows the other person to let off some steam. Before any serious resolutions can occur, you need to let the other person know that you understand where they are coming from and understand that they feel strongly about the issues that you are discussing with them. Their intense emotions must be acknowledged and affirmed before serious solutions can be discussed.

You should encourage the other person to let off steam and explain their concerns by using verbal cues such as:

“I see”;
“I understand”;
“That’s a good point”;
“I can see that you feel strongly about that”; and
“I can understand how you could see it like that”.

The following nonverbal actions, with the mnemonic SOLER, show the other person that you hear what he or she is saying (Nelson-Jones, 2012):

Squarely: squarely facing the other person;
Open: adopting an open posture;
Leaning: leaning discreetly, not threateningly, toward the other person;
Eye contact: maintaining eye contact, taking cues from the other person as to how much eye contact that person is comfortable with; and
Relaxed: trying to relax as you interact with the other person.

2.2 Emotional listening

Emotional listening entails an understanding that individuals respond emotionally to other people and certain reactions to these responses may be unacceptable professionally. You may sometimes feel like throttling a colleague or leaping up from your chair and slapping the individual standing opposite your desk. These reactions create barriers to effective communication skills and the leader needs to be aware of this.

The following figure explains effective listening:

(Segil, 2002:142)

This diagram demonstrates that effective listening has four main interrelated aspects of penetrating listening, active listening, genuine interest, and emotional listening. Penetrating listening is augmented by open-mindedness, intellectual understanding, fearlessness and a sense of adequacy. A leader who interacts with followers throughout the whole entity, at various levels, builds trust and confidence among peers and employees. This provides a level of assurance to employees that they are being listened to and that the leader is open to their views and takes a genuine interest in issues raised. The leader’s level of penetration within the entity also makes him or her aware of what is going on in the entity.

This awareness yields results especially where the leader takes a genuine interest in the different viewpoints from lower levels within the entity. Lower-level employees often know more about the goings-on within the entity than the top echelons. Actively listening to information from lower levels and acting on it fosters trust and employees can openly bring issues that assist in the success of the entity. Also, a leader’s penetration within the entity, taking a genuine interest, and actively listening to lower-level employees vests him or her emotionally.

This emotional commitment strengthens the relationship between employees and the leader. When a leader listens emotionally, he or she takes a genuine interest in employees which in turn builds trust and confidence in the leader. Once this stage is reached, it becomes easier for the leader to get buy-in from employees on many business initiatives.

2.3 Intuition and empathy

This relates to our awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns. This competency is important in the workplace for the following reasons (Cherniss and Goleman, 2001):

Understanding others: having an intuitive sense of others’ feelings and perspectives, and showing an active interest in their concerns and interests;
Customer service orientation: the ability to anticipate, recognise, and meet customers’ needs;
People development: the ability to sense what others need to grow, develop, and master their strengths; and
Leveraging diversity: cultivating opportunities.

2.4 Political acumen and social skills

Political acumen and social skills refer to our adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others. This competency is important in the workplace for the following reasons (Cherniss and Goleman, 2001).

Influencing entails using effective tactics and techniques for persuasion and desired results
Communication is evidenced by sending clear and convincing messages that are understood by others
Leadership consists of, at a minimum, inspiring and guiding groups of people
Change catalyst behaviour involves initiating and or managing change in the workplace
Conflict resolution is the ability to negotiate and resolve disagreements with people
Building bonds requires nurturing instrumental relationships for business success
Collaboration and cooperation are working with co-workers and business partners toward shared goals
Team capabilities involve creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals

2.5 Networking

Business networking involves interacting with individuals for mutual benefit. Networking is a powerful process to promote yourself and your organisation because it is inexpensive and could give rise to many opportunities (Queensland Government, 2014). However, networking should never be manipulative or designed to meet self-serving goals. Seek in your networking to build a genuine, connected relationship with people, so that you can share your vision and ideas, and listen to theirs, being open at all times to changing your perspective. (Cherniss and Goleman, 2001)

Many people dislike networking or are not natural networkers. According to Byham (2009), even if you have an aversion to networking, it is imperative to establish networks both within and outside of your organisation.

Michaels (2013) argues that the key to developing successful networks is to establish a win-win relationship. If the relationship will not be beneficial for both parties, then do not bother establishing the network. Developing networks is therefore a long-term process to establish trusting relationships, and open up unknown creative possibilities.

General networking principles (Spiesman, 2014):

Be sincere and authentic when networking. This fosters trust and the development of relationships. People are generally reluctant to develop relationships with others who have expedient motives;
Ask open-ended questions when you network with others. Ask who, what, why, when and how questions to open up the conversation and show the other person that you are interested in her or him;
Know how to articulate who you are, what you do and what is unique about what you do in a manner that is clear, easy to understand and succinct; and
Respond quickly to referrals that you receive by addressing questions or providing information that you promised. You are judged by your actions and people will want to support you in future if they see that you are true to your word.

Tips for networking in the workplace (Green, 2014):

Establish outward, not inward, networks. Focus on building new relationships rather than deepening existing relationships. Remember, the reason for developing networks is to connect with people with whom you would not generally work. Try to broaden your network base;
Strive for diversity instead of size. It is better to build a diverse network composed of people with different skills and viewpoints rather than a colossal one that is similar to you;
Establish weak ties instead of strong ones. This appears counterintuitive. However, weak ties to people with whom you need to contact only a few times a month help to create new networks and opportunities for you. This is opposed to developing strong ties with an existing network that might not expose you to many new opportunities;
Get assistance from hubs rather than close contacts. When you require assistance in the workplace, get assistance from hubs or people who have been in the company for a while and have established networks. Try to establish as many of your hubs as possible;
Leverage existing weak ties to secure assistance. When you require assistance from someone with whom you might not have a strong tie, ask a hub to approach the person. There will be a greater chance of that person assisting you if there is a trusted referral; and
Strengthen ties if people are not working together. If people are working in silos, consider investing time and energy to strengthen relationships. This investment in the team will foster trust so that people will want to co-operate and assist when required.

What is the difference for you between manipulative networking, and networking with spiritual and emotional intelligence? How might ethics relate to networking with integrity?

Tips for creating a network beyond your organisation (Spiesman, 2014; Michaels, 2013):

Determine the goal of networking. You could participate in an event to establish new contacts, learn something new or volunteer your services. Knowing your goal will help you to know what you want to achieve and how you intend to achieve it;
Participate in as many networking opportunities as possible that interest you. You are not compelled to join a group immediately, so it is useful to attend a few meetings before committing. But be strategic about the networking functions that you attend to ensure that you are interacting with the relevant people with whom you can establish a long-term relationship;
Volunteer for a position in an organisation. This elevates your profile and allows you to contribute back to those who have assisted you. Networking is about developing sound relationships. Create value where you give of yourself. This is as important as receiving assistance from others; and
Contact the people with whom a mutually beneficial relationship can be established. Indicate that you enjoyed meeting them and ask if they are available to share ideas that will also benefit them. Deliver what you promise.

The Regenesys International Leadership Development Programme is not just an opportunity to learn how to improve your emotional intelligence competencies, it is also a space where you can practice with guided, empathetic support. These are life skills you will draw on more and more as your career progresses. Coupled with the invaluable other skills that will be developed and taught over the duration of the programme, you will barely recognise the successful, disruptive, and reimagined leader you will emerge as after completion of the International Leadership Development Programme.

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